The Zebra Question
I asked the zebra,
Are you black with white stripes?
Or white with black stripes?
And the zebra asked me,
Are you good with bad habits?
Or are you bad with good habits?
Are you noisy with quiet times?
Or quite with noisy times?
Are you happy with some sad days?
Or are you sad with some happy days?
Are you neat with some sloppy ways?
Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?
And on and on and on and on
And on and on he went.
I’ll never ask a zebra
About stripes
Again.
-‘The Zebra Question’, Shel Silverstein
For everything I’ve been through in the last few years, I’m annoyed that I have not learned to properly “eject” unwanted emotions. It takes a long while to forgive myself. While the facebook status messages and tweets come off as ditzy, it really is a way to force myself to move on. I opt not to tag my posts in those 30 or 100 days of happiness, because those beautiful moments should be more than a quarter of the year. It should be completely unexpected. It should be realized, not forced upon by a hashtag. Or maybe I’m saying that because there is the nagging shadow of ‘I’m not worthy’.
I’m amazed that for the most part, life goes on and it doesn’t entirely suck. It could be better, but it could always be better. There are hours to days of dwelling on about the things I can’t quite control, the things I wish I had the foresight to deal with better. But I couldn’t even imagine being in a ‘better’ state once upon a time.
If you read this far, thank you for bearing with me. I have tried writing something new in this blog for the last few weeks, but it all came out as too diarrheal, too personal, too passive-aggressive. This, I’m most comfortable sharing since maybe someone out there needs to read it.
Don’t be sorry for life going on. It just is. You won’t even feel great about it half the time, but it may come in handy when you’re waiting out the worst.
So it happens now
An unfinished entry From November 29, 2013
What I’ve learned in the last several months –
To pick up after myself.
Never misplace my keys.
Keep track of catfood stash.
Do the dishes on time because no one else will.
Cold as it is, anger and regret don’t seal goals and don’t pay the bills.
And now back to the present.
The last entry I posted here was from an entirely different address. In the four months I’ve been absent from this blog, I’ve moved apartments, learned to really live on my own, kissed freelance life goodbye, said hello to a new office, said goodbye, then said hello to another office (whew).
I have devastated my bank account, but I have also (and made sure) that I recover by the piso. I try not think too badly of what little I have in there. The poster below sums it up,
What else I’ve done while I was away:
I survived my first cyclethon, I have clocked over hundreds of kilometers while biking, had a few close calls but no major accidents.
I stopped inking because I had to give away my desk. I started inking again when I realized I really needed an offline hobby.
Some personal wounds have slowly begun to heal, which I’m thankful for.
I have set a personal writing goal. More to follow as that unfolds.
The little things that won’t quite reach 300 words, that mean a lot in the most trivial of successes but are largely boring to the people who don’t know you.
A part of me even considered taking down the blog altogether, but then I’d have no place to write as myself. If I can’t write in my own voice, it may affect the things I write for vocation. I just need to get off my lazy ass and actually write, yes?
More soon, I hope.
In the meantime, you can read about troubleshooting through young adulthood at FemaleNetwork, or my misadventures in the kitchen and at the dining table at Pepper.ph.
The 'Feels' after Red Turnip Theater's 'Closer'
I first watched Closer the movie some years back, mere days after a college-era heartbreak. I left the theater weeping, and declared for the time, that Patrick Marber was my favorite playwright. Marber got that bizarre push and pull of love at its worst, and just who we really are when the crave and need to commit becomes an obligation. In the end of it all, perhaps we aren’t even who we say or think we are.
As if the movie wasn’t grueling enough, the stage play is even more heart wrenching. Do catch Red Turnip Theater’s final run this weekend and prepare to feel.
You can still catch Red Turnip Theater’s production of ‘Closer’ on October 26 and 27, 2013 at Whitespace, Pasong Tamo Extension, Makati, Metro Manila. Visit their facebook page for show schedule and ticketing information: Red Turnip Theater.
The ‘Feels’ after Red Turnip Theater’s ‘Closer’
I first watched Closer the movie some years back, mere days after a college-era heartbreak. I left the theater weeping, and declared for the time, that Patrick Marber was my favorite playwright. Marber got that bizarre push and pull of love at its worst, and just who we really are when the crave and need to commit becomes an obligation. In the end of it all, perhaps we aren’t even who we say or think we are.
As if the movie wasn’t grueling enough, the stage play is even more heart wrenching. Do catch Red Turnip Theater’s final run this weekend and prepare to feel.
You can still catch Red Turnip Theater’s production of ‘Closer’ on October 26 and 27, 2013 at Whitespace, Pasong Tamo Extension, Makati, Metro Manila. Visit their facebook page for show schedule and ticketing information: Red Turnip Theater.
Fresh off the bike
I blame the TV commercials. They made me believe it was possible to stay “fresh looking” with the right product, even if you’re in a tropical country.
That is one challenge to commuting on a bike: keeping the fresh look even after your 30 minute ride around in hot and humid weather.
There are the staples: bring a change of clothes and a vanity kit, but there’s also beauty in the finer details. Here are a few things I use to pretty up after a long ride:
–Baby powder or dry shampoo for hair. While I haven’t tried dry shampoo, I’ve heard good reviews on Etude House’s brand of dry shampoo to do away with the sweaty wet look for the hair and still keep its volume. For those on a budget, just apply a little bit of baby powder in the hair and comb it in.
–Extra deodorant. No matter how much they claim to be an antiperspirant, Mother Nature will usually win and leave you a sweaty, stinky mess. In this case, I miss sachet packs of Rexona’s deolotion, I haven’t seen it in stores and I fear they’ve phased it out! I wish they made it by the bottle and not just in sachet packs! For lack of that, I carry around a small bottle of Dove stick deo to touch up with before I head to meetings or classes.
–Cologne or perfume. Just to make sure, you’ll never know who has an overly-keen sense of smell! Cologne also has a little bit of alcohol in them that helps absorb some of the body grime.
–Sunscreen. Because sunburn is painful. For long rides, make it a point to stop and reapply sunscreen every 2 hours (even less if you have fair or sensitive skin or sweat a lot). Also, save yourself the extra money — science has proven that the skin does not absorb anything above SPF50. My personal favorites: Dermcare and Nivea.
–Moisturizer. In addition to sunscreen, it helps soothe burns and revives skin. For the body, I love lotions that use shea butter. I currently use Marks and Spencer’s body lotion, but when am on the cheap I use Nivea deep moisturizing lotion. For the face I use Human Heart Nature‘s night moisturizing cream or Celeteque.
